It feels weird to start with the “endings” section, isn’t it? I am writing this on the plane, as I am moving back to Romania. The University is about to end and everything has been moved online and in this context, I thought that there isn’t anything that keeps me in Manchester anymore. These days I’ve met the closest friends I have in Manchester and I wondered how many people I’ve seen for the last time in my life. This may sound too dramatic but I guess that’s normal, people come and go. The university is just a temporary stage of our lives and we’re slowly moving to “adulthood”.

I think that for most of the people, after a final of a story, independent if it was a job, a city, a country that you left, a relationship, an idea or a company that cannot exist anymore, the first period after the ending is the most painful. You think about your mistakes and weaknesses and maybe that things could have been better if you were the best version of yourself and you realize that all the plans you may have had are not possible anymore. This feeling can last for days, weeks, months…but after that, a wave of inner peace comes and that feeling of relief, freedom, and calm is priceless. At that moment you realize your worth and qualities, the sacrifices and compromises you made, who you can trust and you promise yourself that you won’t make the same mistakes again. For me, this is the fundament of evolution: you do what you can so, in the end, you can understand who you are and learn based on these past experiences.

However, this is not always the case: that emotion of an ending can be insignificant compared with the excitement of a new start, new opportunities, and a new life. This is the case for me now, as I feel that this is the beginning of my professional and personal maturity and I shared my thoughts and feelings below.

Manchester

For me, Manchester and the University was an interesting experience and by far the most intense 4 years of my life. It was the first time I went out of Romania for the long term and knowing that I can barely afford it and that my programming knowledge is inexistent. In these 4 years, I have experienced enthusiasm, deception, anger, fear, poverty, happiness, love, loneliness, anxiety, stress, relief, pain and many others. I have met a lot of people in these 4 years and they helped me become who I am now and I strongly believe that some of them will remain in my world even though we’ll see each other physically much less often.

In my memory, the image of the scared kid who just moved into the city and lived a minimal life at Withworth Hall is very vivid. I was afraid that I am not smart enough, that I won’t be able to do anything meaningful or important and now looking back I don’t recognize that person at all. As that year passed I started to understand how my perspectives change and after the first semester my main focus was to get an internship for the next summer and gain some experience. I got an offer from Seers CX and I am very thankful to Norbert and Bogdan who gave me this opportunity. I lived for that (hot) summer in Bucharest and looking at it backward, it was a funny experience: long nights of FIFA, basketball, and discussions, concerts and even more important, a great state of mind.

In the following year, I decided from the beginning that I want to go for placement so I made that my main priority. The first interviews were failures and my self-confidence was strongly shaken. The pressure of getting an offer was bigger and bigger but I knew I did everything I could, so I was happy with myself. The first offer eventually arrived and it taught me that delayed gratification works and all the effort weren’t in vain. Also, this year I tried to start a company that failed but was one of the best lessons of my life so far. This year was probably the most fun, as everyone was celebrating after getting a placement and those parties are unforgettable. For the summer I was at Twitter in London which was great and I wrote down the story of that summer here. After that, I was at Bloomberg in London, Twitter and Microsoft in Seattle and I fell in love with the US, but I’ll tell you more about that in another post.

For the last year, I had probably the widest variety of feelings and uncertainties and I felt that the decisions and commitments I make are more impactful than ever and I discovered and improved myself the most after analyzing my feelings and thoughts. As I started the year with some uncertainties and some clear plans, everything changed but that leads me to a peaceful and motivational state which is priceless. The Uni was interesting, with plenty of effort put into my Bachelor’s project and besides that, I got into the best physical shape I’ve ever been, I kept my circles closer and smaller and everything went great.

Eventually, I decided to go back to Romania for a new life. I hate packing and I realized that I have a lot of stuff from all these 4 years and putting it together felt like assembling pieces from the puzzle of my life and merging all may ways of being. Finally, when packing my BoJack Horseman poster I felt that he was whispering “we’re going into another adventure, friend”…and it starts now.

A new life

I love the present, as it is the future I projected in the past.

Compared with any other stage or experience of my life so far, excepting the first start-up attempt, everything was short term and had a known ending date. Now, for the first time, I am looking at everything with the goal of making it last forever, and this changes sharpy my overall perspective and makes me focus on the process more than on the end goal. This excites me and it is a huge motivation to get out of the comfort zone and create things which 2 years ago seemed impossible and which I visualize now as huge and successful in the next 5 years. I am currently working with 2 great companies and for my products and it feels great, I am surrounded by crazily smart and creative people and I can see them having a great impact in my long term career plans and development. Especially working with Fatih again who I feel like a mentor is amazing and I am very grateful for the opportunity and learning outcomes he gave me.

As I move back to Romania, both my personal and professional life change sharply. Being closer to my business partners, family and friends matters for me and I feel that they are the ground where I have my roots and with their support to aim as high as possible. I cannot say I didn’t miss the late-night talks, FIFA and tennis matches, board games and everything I used to do with the few people I care about and I am hyped to be back home. My gut feeling tells me that this is the beginning of a new stage of my life and there is a long road ahead…let’s see where it takes me.